thedeadparrot: (need for speed)
(posted by on Jun. 28th, 2017 08:53 pm)
This past weekend was an awesome parkour event that left me exhausted, miserable, thrilled, thoughtful, and delighted. It's my second year going to it, and I think I got a lot more out of it this year than I did last year.

This isn't limited to parkour, but there's both a mental and a physical component to the sport. The first few years of training, I could mostly blame my issues on the physical side of things. I couldn't get my body parts to move in the right ways. I didn't have the arm or leg or core strength for anything. Some of these things are still true. My physical capabilities do limit what sorts of moves I can pull off and at what heights. But now the mental difficulties are starting to come into it.

There's a lot of talk about fear when it comes to parkour. How to approach that fear. How to overcome it. How to deal with it. You hit a certain point and then everything you try in parkour becomes about fear. It's not like, 'jumping off buildings' fear. It's 'trying to jump one step higher on a set of stairs' fear. I feel like recently, fear has dominated my training. I go to classes, which is great peer pressure and a great way to have a set schedule, but it's not great for doing what they call 'breaking' jumps. Finding something that is terrifying and breaking it down into smaller pieces until you achieve it.

I hadn't realized how much that fear had been eating away at me until this weekend. I would love to say that I overcame all of it and got in touch with my inner badass and now I'm doing ridiculous things. That's not how it went. It mostly went 'omg, I'm too tired to try this thing. man, I would love to do this move, but I'm not strong enough and I'll totally clip my toe. oh no, my feet are sore so I can't land anything' over and over and over again. There were a few exceptions. One session, the coaches decided that 'we're going to exhaust you until you can't think and then make you try to break a jump'. I exhausted myself, but I also broke a jump. Kind of. I went a little easy on myself. But that session stuck with me.

It's good to be shaken out of your own complacency. I need to find more ways of confronting my fear head-on. The solution isn't to throw myself at things and hope they work, either. I've already injured myself a few times that way. The solution, I think, is to carve out more training time for myself. To spend more time getting in touch with my fear. What it looks like. How it works. How valid is it. How to manage the risks when I do push myself past that line.

Easier said than done, of course, but I'm glad I can see the shape of it.

Also, I need a parkour icon, goddamn. I should make myself one.
thedeadparrot: (need for speed)
(posted by on Jan. 14th, 2017 04:02 pm)
I went to a parkour workshop today, and it was super great. My back and arms are sore because I went to class yesterday, and I have an ugly bruise on my right knee from screwing up a jump (which is exhibit D of a future post entitled 'Athletes have disgusting bodies'). I do have a longer post that I would like to write about why I love this sport so much, but I have not had enough time to gather my thoughts.

The rest of my weekend will probably involve sitting on my couch, working on a third fic that I will write and never post, and hunt down authors to bid on for [ profile] fandomtrumpshate. (There's a very long list of people offering things if you want to try to skim it to find authors you might recognize.)

I am thrilled that I have the cash to actually bid for things in one of these big fandom auctions. I'm eager to get into bidding wars over some of the ones that I've already bid on (so yeah, if you are at all hesitant about hurting my feelings by bidding against me, I am actually really excited to tangle with you).

And I dunno. If I'm feeling mostly recovered by Monday, I might go ice skating. That could be fun. Maybe I'll even learn how to stop like a real skater instead of just running into walls.
thedeadparrot: (need for speed)
(posted by on May. 28th, 2016 08:09 pm)
So, it's been kind of year since I started going to yoga classes. I thought it might be a good time for me to reflect on it.

discussion of food, bodies, weight, exercise to follow )
thedeadparrot: (Default)
(posted by on Nov. 11th, 2015 08:14 am)
I am surprisingly reluctant to post things on here, and I'm not sure why. I guess I was thinking I'd do a big post on my trip back home to Taiwan, and that just never happened. WHOOPS.

Anyway, a quick rundown on things.

I completed a 5k on Sunday! I got 31:12, which is better than I was expecting since my practice runs have been around 34-35 minutes. My next goal is to get that below 30 minutes. My knees have been a little weird, though, so I took (am taking) Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday off.

I got my Yuletide assignment! Yay. I need to start reviewing my source material, though, and I've been dragging my feet on that.

I wrote more of my TSN mafia AU for the timestamp meme, and I'm super proud of it, so here:

19th Nervous Breakdown (2033 words) by thedeadparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Social Network (2010)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Eduardo Saverin/Mark Zuckerberg
Characters: Dustin Moskovitz, Sean Parker
Additional Tags: Weddings, Timestamp, Alternate Universe - Mob, POV Outsider
Series: Part 9 of Sympathy For The Devil
Summary: Mafia AU. It wouldn't be Mark and Eduardo's wedding if everything went smoothly.
thedeadparrot: (need for speed)
(posted by on Aug. 16th, 2015 05:52 pm)
Woke up last night at 4:30 from a bad dream. It was unpleasant, but I usually get up at 5:30 anyway, so I just stayed awake and played video games.

This was actually kind of nice because I managed to drag myself outside at 6am to go for a walk, playing through the first mission of Zombies, Run!. It was pretty damn pleasant, considering how hot it got up to during the day, so I think I'm going to start the Zombies, Run! 5k edition tomorrow. Working out at home has gotten a little stale, and it's nice to have both variety and a specific goal to work towards.

(My strength training goal is 'be able to do a full push up'. Little to no success on this yet.)

I was looking into local 5ks, and I think I found one that might work as a fun target, though it lands around week 7, so I'm not sure if I want to sign up in the 'Walking' or 'Running' category. Decisions are hard. Ask me again in a week.

Speaking of cardio, I also looked up local Parkour classes, and there's one that miiiight work on Fridays. I'll check it out this Friday and see how I feel about it, though it might make me too sore to go to yoga on Saturdays. I'm in TRY ALL THE THINGS mode right now.

One of the reasons why I'm doing so much and thinking so much about it is because I'm doing better at -- either through yoga or meditation or both -- of feeling connected to my body and feeling pleasure in making it do things. It hurts, and it sucks, and I'm awful at pretty much everything right now (and I am discovering the pleasant shade of beet-red my face turns whenever I get my heart rate up), but it's kind of awesome, too? My body does things? I can make it do things?

I read an essay today by the head writer of Zombies, Run!, Naomi Alderman, that really captured that feeling of it: There’s No Morality in Exercise: I’m a Fat Person and Made a Successful Fitness App. There's a lot here that's good, but I'm going to spoil some of it by posting the part that really spoke to me:
No, what happened was better: I started to enjoy being in my body. I felt better. I felt good. It is a very different feeling to be in a fat body that is moving a lot to one that hardly moves at all. It feels like love. As simple and as joyful as that.
thedeadparrot: (need for speed)
(posted by on Aug. 3rd, 2015 08:21 pm)
Just after I wrote my last post, I managed to injure my left shoulder trying to do burpees. I think it was just a pull, because it hurt for a few days and then was fine. Still was obnoxious, though, especially trying to figure out routines to work around it. Ugh, burpees.

Besides that, I've kept up general workout things! Daily cardio has been pretty great so far. It's been really good at the beginning of the day, dragging me into wakefulness even when my body doesn't think it's ready for anything. I've settled into doing Zumba twice a week, but I might just drop that because I'm enjoying doing exercise from home more. I'll give it a few more weeks and see how I feel about it.

I bought a kettlebell because the internet agrees that strength training is great, and more women should do it. And I also like the idea of getting physically stronger? My arms have always been kind of puny, even when I was doing martial arts a lot, so this is new and exciting territory for me.

Yoga has been good. I've enjoyed switching it to the evenings. It's relaxing and centering when I'm still feeling a little tired and cranky after work. I'm doing it in the mornings on days that I have Zumba, and I think it's just a little too sedate in the morning to really force me awake and buzzing the way I really need right now. Classes are still great for Saturday mornings, and I'm definitely tempted to try one of the 6am morning classes.

I have also been tempted to get Zombies, Run! 5k (h/t to [personal profile] zulu) even though that involves getting earbuds, and also, involves running. My brain is warring between my love of video games and my hatred of running. It's still a little warm to start doing any sort of jogging outside these days, but it might be something to table until the fall, when hopefully I'll have a better sense of how my current workouts are feeling and how I can work it into my morning schedule.

I, um, get a little fixated sometimes when I try something new. Have you noticed?

I have also been working on some fic, and I'm like 88% sure it's never going to see the light of day, so I'm not sure why I'm so annoyed that I can't seem to finish it. Just slap a cheesy, shitty ending onto it, brain! It's not that difficult!
thedeadparrot: (need for speed)
(posted by on Jul. 24th, 2015 09:28 pm)
This week was really awful. Getting into the details of it is more than I can or want to deal with right now, so I will not do that. It's at the point where I've semi-abandoned my weird experimental fic in favor of stress-writing terrible other fic because other fic is easier to think about and work on. I can just spew words into this document, and it's almost kind of soothing.

But on the other hand, I've started doing cardio, and I think I've found cardio that I don't hate? Zumba wasn't really fun per se, but I enjoyed it more than the other cardio I've done before? I didn't feel like throwing up at any point. My lungs didn't want to crawl out of my chest. There were plenty of breaks where I could stop for water. I was terrible at any of the parts that required actual dancing skill, but I managed to keep up with the footwork for the most part. Or worked really hard at trying to keep up with the footwork, which is pretty much what I'm there for anyway.

I think the key things for cardio and me is that (a) I much prefer working out more than one muscle group when doing it and (b) I need someone else to set the pace for me and guilt/encourage me to get through things. I think I push myself too hard when I try to do things like running, and then I just feel awful at the end of the workout instead of energized. I get side stitches, and I can't breathe, and yeah. Bad place.

I found some home cardio videos that I liked well enough. The first one that I saw offered up low-impact alternatives to the moves they were using, and halfway through, there was a water break. Even though I haven't done cardio in forever, it was still pretty doable. I usually end up gushing sweat at the end of it, which is the goal, I think. I also get a nice pleasant buzz, which I'm guessing is the mystical runners' high that I've heard so much about but have never experienced in association with running. I might go hunting for other videos to see if I like them better, but even if I don't, then I at least have these to fall back on.

I am slightly worried that it's not cardio 'enough' and am tempted to get some sort of heart rate monitor, though I think that's the internet talking and not me. Ugh. I'm not in this to get to my peak physical condition or lose a ton of weight. I'm just in this to maintain a decent amount of mental and physical health. I guess we'll see how I feel about keeping up the routine going forward.

This is on top of the daily yoga that I've been pretty good at maintaining, even when I was sick earlier this week. There are yoga videos for when you are sick, because there are yoga videos for everything. Just finished Day 26 of 30 Days of Yoga, and it's been good. I like the variety that she presents. I've been doing once-a-week classes, which are good for pushing myself harder and also for inducing bile in the back of my throat when I push myself to hard.

So. I guess I'm now someone who does exercise on a regular basis. I'm someone who talks about the exercise I'm doing on a regular basis. Gross.


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