thedeadparrot

Okay, this whole "War on Boys" thing has been bothering me a bit. Take this article for example. But I haven't really been able to quite put my finger on all the reasons why.

This, on the other hand, is a good rebuttal to the whole shebang, which helps solidify all the reasons for the odd feelings I get about the whole thing.

And he brings up some good points. Dude, why the hell are you complaining about how nowadays in the classroom, women are trying to keep boys docile, when back in the "good old days" when men were still men and feminists didn't exist, the classrooms were actually stricter? Good thinking, people. It's totally feminism's fault.

Did you guys know that Citizen Kane is not so much about one man's rise and fall from power as much as the breakdown of Charles Foster Kane's big gay love with Jedediah Leland?

I mean, think about it. They were "close in school" *winkwinknudgenudgesaynomore* and then they go and start up a newspaper together, and Leland is still totally in love with Kane, right? He's practically slobbering all over Kane's declaration of rights thing.

Then, later on, during the dancing scene, Leland's all jealous and stuff of the can-can dancer Kane is dancing with, and he can practically sense that Kane is pulling away from him. Then Kane goes away on vacation and comes back engaged, and Leland doesn't look happy for him at all, just kind of depressed.

After Kane loses the election, he and Leland have a separation, and Leland's drunk because it was bad enough that Kane went out and got married on him, but he also cheated on his wife with another girl too, and being numb was better than the pain. So Leland decides to go to Chicago to get away from Kane and so that he doesn't have to see Kane every day and feel bad about what he can't really have anymore.

When they see each other again for the first time for years, Leland's still jealous as fuck of Susan, and while she does suck, he's got extra vitriol for her just because. Also, Kane's hurt and angry at Leland because despite their separation, he thought their relationship had meant something, and in his hurting, he fires Leland. Then, in order to make it final, Leland shreds the check and returns the "present" Kane gave him a while back, and the breakup is official and angsty and tragic.

THE END.

That's totally the story Welles was trying to tell.

(Also there was stuff in there about Rosebud and the need to be loved, whatever the fuck that was.)

My teeth hurt, for some reason.

It's probably going to rain right now or something.*



* only funny if you are on the East coast and/or in the Providence area. Or if you realize that it's been raining around here for days.