thedeadparrot

hihi

2023-01-10T00:53:02Z

I guess I'm posting about once a year now. I wrote some stuff this year, primarily in Star Wars. You can check it all out on AO3 if you care.

I will probably be doing fandomtrumpshate again this year, though I am always terrified about what I will end up writing.

Most excitingly, I have started up a fannish Mastodon (Twitter alternative) instance over at FanGlitch.Space! If you are interested in joining it, feel free to use my invite link if you want to sign up. It's been a lot of learning for me, but it's also been a fun technical challenge. I really want to make a cozy home for fannish folks to hang out and chat about fandom things! And I'm more likely to keep up with it if other folks are also using it. You can also follow me over there if you are already on Mastodon.

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yuletide reveal! and uh, I guess reposting all my fic from this year

2022-01-04T12:01:10Z

Don't Let Your Schemes Be Dreams or: Life Lessons from the Annual Psychonauts Holiday Party (1801 words) by thedeadparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Psychonauts (Video Games)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Sasha Nein/Milla Vodello
Characters: Sasha Nein, Milla Vodello, Razputin "Raz" Aquato, Interns (Psychonauts)
Additional Tags: holiday party, Scheming
Summary:

Somehow, the drinks at the annual Psychonauts Holiday Party never seemed to improve year after year, despite Truman's repeated insistence that he would 'make it happen.'

And I also took a brief nostalgia dive into LOTRips and wrote something because Billy and Dom kept talking about playing League of Legends on the Friendship Onion.

I don't think anyone else I know has played Psychonauts, but I just want you all to appreciate the title. I am very proud of it.

Our Friendship Is On Another Level (3839 words) by thedeadparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Lord of the Rings RPF
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Billy Boyd/Dominic Monaghan
Characters: Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Orlando Bloom
Additional Tags: League of Legends - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Gamers
Summary:

Gamer AU. At the time, Dom's friends list was empty, and so maybe that was the explanation for why he sent a friend request to this awful player who went by the name Pippin68 and had a terrible tendency to get lost in the fog of war.

Uh, and here's the reveal for the pinch hit I wrote last yuletide

Cognitive Dissonance (1321 words) by thedeadparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Old Guard (Comics)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko
Characters: Noriko, Andy | Andromache of Scythia
Additional Tags: Spoilers, Post-The Old Guard: Force Multiplied, Complicated Relationships
Summary:

After the events of Force Multiplied, Andy tries to work out her new relationship with Noriko.

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yes, i can still sometimes post to DW

2021-12-25T18:28:02Z

I have partaken in my now yearly participation of yuletide by picking up a pinch hit, and I don't think anyone can guess it because it's NICHE, but I think anyone could guess from the title alone, so you're welcome to try your hardest.

Anyway, here are some recs:

Sense 8 - serve me the sky tonight (2615 words) - I love Kala/Rajan/Wolfgang, and this is such a sweet, well-contained story about Rajan reaching out.

Over the Garden Wall - the road through the woods (3223 words) - I only saw this series for the first time this year, and this fic is such a rich, sad, aching continuation of it. What happened to Wirt and Greg lingers on, and maybe that's okay. Maybe that's what needs to happen.

I'll try to add more as I read more!

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CATCATCAT

2021-01-04T12:44:56Z

I will write a year-end fic in review at some point, but I am very tired and basically playing Stardew Valley nonstop instead of being a person.

The most important news is that I have a cat now! I got her about 4 months ago now, and she's something of a senior cat (9 years old), and she is the sweetest, cutest cat in the whole world. There were some health issues that took me by surprise at the beginning and are causing me stress on the regular, but that's something I was preparing myself for when I adopted a senior cat. I named her Andromache after the Old Guard character, so I call her Andy.

( pictures )

I'm still a nervous, anxious cat parent, but I am getting more used to it! I have been watching a lot of My Cat From Hell and learning a bunch about cat behavior, and it's been a fun trip to learn a bunch of new stuff during pandemic.

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fic: let the mark have a prick in't (joe/nicky, the old guard)

2020-08-09T14:28:59Z

I know I've been writing a fic a week but this is what happens when you end up in the same fandom as all your fandom friends and they're all enablers. Uh, mind the tags.

let the mark have a prick in't (2139 words) by thedeadparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolo di Genova
Characters: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Nicky | Nicolo di Genova
Additional Tags: Knifeplay, Bloodplay, Painplay, Mild Gore, Romantic Gestures
Summary:

What Nicky wants is a chance to make marks on Joe's body, something deeper and more intimate than can be left on the surface of Joe's skin.

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fic: all my failings exposed (The Old Guard, Booker/Joe/Nicky)

2020-08-02T14:16:06Z

Apparently I'm just on a writing binge right now, so uh, here, have an emotionally fraught threesome.

all my failings exposed (3493 words) by thedeadparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Booker | Sebastien le Livre/Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolo di Genova
Characters: Booker | Sebastien le Livre, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Nicky | Nicolo di Genova
Additional Tags: Threesome - M/M/M, Bad Decisions, Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Pre-Canon, Unsuccessful Comfort Sex, Booker | Sebastien le Livre Needs Therapy
Summary:

After a rough mission, Joe and Nicky make sure that Booker doesn't spend the night alone.

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fic: What Time Leaves Behind (The Old Guard, Joe/Nicky)

2020-07-27T23:29:08Z

I wrote more Old Guard fic! Apparently being in a fandom with lots of friends means I'm super productive writing-wise!

What Time Leaves Behind (2473 words) by thedeadparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolo di Genova
Characters: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Nicky | Nicolo di Genova
Additional Tags: Anniversary, Jerusalem, Pointless Arguments, Photography, A gas station - Freeform, Backstory
Summary:

Joe and Nicky celebrate an anniversary at a gas station, get into a pointless argument, take some photographs, and remember how they got here.

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fic: A Life's Purpose (The Old Guard, gen)

2020-07-17T13:34:42Z

Yup, I also got suckered into this movie and had enough feelings to write a fic! It's probably verging on meta, but you know, fanfic is where we can grapple with those sorts of feelings.

A Life's Purpose (1822 words) by thedeadparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolo di Genova
Characters: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Nicky | Nicolo di Genova, Nile Freeman, Andy | Andromache of Scythia
Additional Tags: Introspection, Slice of Life, Backstory
Summary:

Nicky sometimes wonders why they are always warriors, those of them who have been chosen.

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fic: I've Got My Love (To Keep Me Warm (Pacific Rim: Uprising, Nate/Jake)

2020-07-04T09:48:39Z

I've Got My Love (To Keep Me Warm) (6236 words) by thedeadparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Nate Lambert/Jake Pentecost
Characters: Nate Lambert, Jake Pentecost
Additional Tags: Huddling For Warmth, Flashbacks, Pining, Cuddling & Snuggling
Summary:

Nate and Jake get sent on a mission to the old Anchorage shatterdome. It turns out Alaska is cold.

Finished my fandomtrumpshate fic!

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the long arc of history

2020-06-10T12:13:49Z

So as promised, here's some navel-gazing about this current moment in time from someone who isn't black and who isn't a history scholar, so fair warning, this might be all sorts of cringe-y, sorry. But hey, if I can't process my many feelings here, where else am I going to do it?

( cw: history, racism, etc )

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hi from the center of 2020

2020-06-10T02:37:44Z

Time? What is time again?

Anyway, quick updates on COVID life. I've gotten used to it, mostly. Work is supporting WFH pretty well, buying us equipment and such, and I have a good desk setup that even has a standing desk attachment so that I can go up and down with a little effort. Wearing masks while exercising is garbage, but I have managed to make use of my back porch for yoga and some weight/parkour training and it is what it is. Have been also trying to bike and run a bit while wearing Buffs, which aren't super great, but at least let me breathe okay.

Obviously, the protests are the big thing right now, and I've been hesitant to go to them because, well, being in public with other people still feels Bad and Wrong, even while wearing masks. I've been focusing my activism more on donating and pushing local leaders where I can and organizing. I have more Thoughts on this later, which will be navel-gazey and probably more about my feelings about this moment than anything else, so yeah.

I have been doing jigsaw puzzles and have started up a puzzle trading ring among my local friends. It's great.

Yes, I have a sourdough starter. His name is Buddy. I have made several loaves of bread with him.

I am deeply obsessed with the giant itch.io indie game bundle. Proceeds go to the NAACP and the Community Bail Fund. It has a mind-boggling 1400+ games in it, a lot of which are ttrpgs which I am eager to poke and and maybe get a chance to play? Discovering the subgenre of solo ttrpgs which is very intriguing. Also, plenty of interesting tiny video games that I have heard of for the first time and have been burning through.

Anyway, I have been absent because my brain does not want to do things right now. Hi! I hope you all are holding up okay.

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Fannish auction time

2020-02-25T02:18:25Z

I did sign up for fandomtrumpshate this year! It's for fanfic again, and I basically copy/pasted my offer from last year into the signup form. I wrote a crossover I was not expecting to last year! That was cool!

Anyway, you should check out my offer.

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more fic??? in a new fandom???

2020-02-24T12:12:22Z

The Star to Every Wandering Bark (2011 words) by thedeadparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: John Constantine/Desmond
Characters: John Constantine, Desmond (DC's Legends of Tomorrow)
Additional Tags: Backstory, First Meetings, Falling In Love, discussions of trauma
Summary:

Of course Des knows who Constantine is the first time he lays eyes on him.

I started this a yearish ago when Desmond was first introduced to Legends as a backstory character, and I had a lot of feelings about understanding his and John's relationship. My recent burst of writing means that it is now actually finished, hooray.

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fic: the size of the boat (Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley)

2020-02-09T23:20:35Z

the size of the boat (6130 words) by thedeadparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Good Omens (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens)
Additional Tags: Size Kink, Bottom Crowley (Good Omens), Top Aziraphale (Good Omens), Multiple Orgasms, Marathon Sex, Crowley Has A Penis (Good Omens), Aziraphale Has A Penis (Good Omens), Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Large Cock
Summary:

Crowley has a size kink. Heaven accidentally issued Aziraphale a huge dick.

There are no footnotes in this. That is the only thing I can say in my own defense here.

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fic: It's in the Cards (Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley)

2020-01-24T13:02:31Z

It's in the Cards (4392 words) by thedeadparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Good Omens (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Characters: Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens), Anathema Device
Additional Tags: Tarot, Pining Crowley (Good Omens), South Downs Cottage (Good Omens), Divination, Embedded Images
Summary:

While stuck in a holding pattern after the world doesn't end, Crowley gets a tarot reading to tell him things he already knows.

(The Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known by a deck of cards.)

I wrote a thing.

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fic: O Blessed Bonds (Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley)

2020-01-08T14:42:51Z

Of course I now have bronchitis after my cold. OF COURSE. Body, why do you do this to me? It's just been snot and coughing all over everything for the past few days.

Anyway, I posted some Good Omens fic.

O Blessed Bonds (3809 words) by thedeadparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Good Omens (TV)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens)
Additional Tags: Bondage, Gentle Dom Aziraphale (Good Omens), Blow Jobs, Forced Orgasm, Footnotes, Dom/sub, Sub Crowley (Good Omens)
Summary:

Aziraphale ties Crowley up. They both enjoy the experience.

Because I'm that kind of nerd, I wrote up a tool to code the footnotes in this fic: Footnote Formatter. Feel free to use it or to spread it around or to give me some feedback on it! I have added some features based on some early feedback already.

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yearly fic wrap up 2019

2020-01-04T16:53:19Z

I only wrote two things this year but one of them was quite large and the other one wasn't a slouch either. I probably have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this, mostly that Good Omens fandom is writing stuff that I like enough that I don't feel the need to add to it substantially, and that I've been busy doing other things. I've been baking more and learning how to crochet and cross stitch and fold origami. I've been traveling for parkour and dealing with work nonsense and figuring out my feelings in therapy. I do miss writing, but I haven't stopped entirely, and I'm sure there's going to be something that comes by and makes me go 'yes, I need to write 5 million words about these two having feelings'.

But that's for later. Here's what happened over the last year.

Kingsmen

Tear Down These Walls (24080 words) - My Berlin epic! The research was nearly as fun as writing the fic itself. I'm still really proud of this one. It's a mix of spy shenanigans plot, a really cool setting, and the chance to weave the time period into the character development. It was ambitious and huge and I still can't quite believe I managed to pull it off.

Social Network/Glee

Goodbye To You (8615 words) - I have said that I will never back down from a crossover challenge, and perhaps this was proof of that. I had an idea of how this would work, but like with most writing problems, getting is all down into words was the tough part. I had to have people sit me down and force me to write it all out because the rest of my life was being too distracting. But I finished! And my recipient really seemed to like it! So that's good. Maybe I'll even do fandomtrumpshate again this year.

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updates updates updates

2019-12-26T02:50:20Z

1. I have been sick with a cold for the last week and a half and while I'm doing a lot better this week, the long tail of cold recovery (BODY. STOP. COUGHING.) is causing me a lot of low-grade misery. It has just made me whiny and a little needy, so of course I've resorted to shitposting on Twitter.

2. Saw my parents for Christmas. My mom is doing much better. She's fussing like normal again and recruited me to set up a million electronics for them, most of them bought post-Thanksgiving. I watched Triad Princess -- a Taiwanese Netflix series that's a mafia rom com that works way better than it should -- with my dad, who was delighted by it. He explained how the divination and spirit asking thing worked and also talked to me about the linguistic drift that's happened since he and my mom left.

3. I was reminded that I usually do an end-of-year fic retrospective (and I'm going to!), but part of me is a little bit sad about my fic output this year. I dunno if I should save my too-many-feelings about it for my retrospective post or what, but while I understand that there are plenty of good reasons for my fic writing falling by the wayside -- not having much of a fandom! other creative hobbies that I find fulfilling! lots and lots of work stress this year! -- it still makes me sad to feel like this chapter of my life is closing/changing. But such is life, I guess. Change is the only constant. And I do keep poking at things, even if I will never finish them. Who knows, maybe I'll even squeeze out this Good Omens PWP before the end of 2019.

4. Cross-stitch is one of my latest crafting things that I've gotten into. It's soothingly repetitive in the way knitting is soothingly repetitive, and it's new! It's a new thing! My brain is pleased.

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Watchmen: the TV series

2019-11-11T13:49:09Z

Goddammit. I didn't want to like it.

I've read the original graphic novel a couple of times, and I respect it and maybe even admire it for its place in comic book storytelling and attempts to deconstruct the idea of superheroes and the underlying assumptions that underscore their existence. But I've never particularly liked it. I saw the movie in theaters, which is spectacularly terrible in how closely it aped the originals' visuals while completely misunderstanding its themes. I don't even mind the big change in the ending that people have very reasonable quibbles with.

When I heard they were making a TV show, I was kind of like 'well, sure, whatever,' and when I heard that the show was not going to be an adaptation but some kind of spinoff, I was like 'that seems like a smarter idea, but also, sure,' and when the show came out to plaudits from TV critics and thinkpieces about the racial politics of the show, I was vaguely intrigued but also determined to be contrary.

But then I watched the first episode and was sucked right in, despite my skepticism. It plays on the book's themes but sharper, updated to the current day, and distinctly American in how it understands how race plays out in America. It focuses on new characters, for the most part, with some of the older ones dropping in. It is wildly ambitious in its decision to jump ahead to the present day, and its ambition even pays off. It takes the original book, which is pretty much entirely centered on white men, and refocuses the story on a black woman. It tackles the idea that the personal is political, the local is the global.

Goddammit. I really like it. Maybe some of you will like it, too?

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my latest obsession: tarot decks

2019-10-18T12:53:54Z

I am kind of obsessed with tarot decks right now. I love the weird imagery-laden art. I love the way each card, even the middling ones in the minor arcana has significance and meaning. I love the way people love it and come up with their many varied and infinite interpretations.

It's not a spiritual thing for me, but it's not just an aesthetic appreciation either. I think there's something to be said for drawing a random card and forcing yourself to confront how it might apply to your own life. I haven't done much of it yet, but I might try it out for a little bit, see how it goes. I've experimented a little bit with readings and I'll see how much of more that I tackle.

I'm also kind of fascinated by the history of tarot, too. The most common version of it comes from a weird mysticism cult around the turn of the 20th century (known to those 'in the know' as the Rider-Waite-Smith deck) which drew and produced the cards, shoving them full of signs and symbols. It's a mishmash of Christian and other white people stuff (Odin makes an appearance as The Hanged Man, and Judgement is all about Jesus rising from the dead). But it's also very evocative and powerful in its imagery, which is part of what makes it so enduring.

One of the things I love about looking at tarot decks is seeing how people reinterpret those original images and how they bring their own perspective on the meanings of the words. There's a whole section out there on 'oracle decks' which are any sort of divination decks that are not tied to any of the tarot traditions, and I'm less interested in those because I want to see how people take this framework of the original RWS and reinterpret it into their own art. It's like watching a bunch of different takes on Shakespeare. The joy is partially in seeing how the artists work with and against the limitations of having an established structure. There's a whole lot of queer and POC tarot nerds and artists out there, and they've been putting some cool spins on the very white, very heteronormative imagery of the original.

I have already caved and bought a few different decks and read a book on the subject. I'm staycating this week, so I had the free time, and it's been fun doing a deep dive here.

Here are the decks that I've caved and bought for myself:
Everyday Tarot - cheap! pretty! abstracted, minimalist version of the Rider-Waite-Smith in purple and gold.
Neon Moon - cyberpunkkkkkkk. I love how the artist reinterprets the originals into this very cohesive cyberpunk world. Also check out their Sinking Wasteland deck, which I might also cave and buy at some point. I also love how the artist puts high quality images of their whole decks online for perusal and appreciation. Definitely check it out.
Prismatic Tarot - I love the colors of this one. The art is clear and sharp, too.

Decks that I'm lusting after:
Prisma Visions - Very impressionist art! The minor arcana all make up one large image, which is amazing.
Slow Holler - Alas this is out of print. It's actually a collaboration between queer Southern artists that somehow manages to be amazingly cohesive.
Next World Tarot - was told about this deck by hermionesviolin and it might not be to my tarot tastes, exactly, but I love the colors and the ferocity of it. Unashamedly queer and full of POC surviving and thriving in a kind of post-apocalyptic America.
Sasuraibito - Beautiful and clear art threaded through with so much feeling.
This Might Hurt - Somewhat cutesy but still serious and trying to portray a whole lot of different types of people in a lot of ways.
Golden Thread Tarot - I love the beautiful, simple linework here, and it's also shiny!

Decks that aren't for me but that I think other people would dig:
Weird Cat Tarot - I don't think this needs any explanation.
Halloween Tarot - It is such a delightful, joyful take on the cards. And v. seasonally appropriate.
Wild Unknown - The art is beautiful and very nature-focused. I love the strategic use of color, but I think it might be a little too abstract for my tastes.
Fountain - Also very pretty. Maybe a little too abstract for my tastes as well.

I've also decided to start stalking indiedeckreview so that I can keep up with all the latest and greatest indie decks that are coming out, if only so I can admire all the pretty art.

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fic: Goodbye To You (Glee/Social Nework, Blaine/Eduardo)

2019-08-27T11:35:56Z

Look at me! I am posting a fic! Written as part of fandomtrumpshate

Goodbye To You (8615 words) by thedeadparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Glee, The Social Network (2010)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Eduardo Saverin
Characters: Blaine Anderson, Eduardo Saverin
Additional Tags: Crossover, Age Difference, One Night Stands, Singing Your Feelings, Karaoke
Summary:

Eduardo starts the night in a diner and ends the night at a karaoke bar and maybe falls a little bit in love along the way.

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shakespearrrrrrrre

2019-08-05T11:37:47Z

I have always had a fondness for Shakespeare, and every so often I go back and try to consume more interpretations of his work. I got into a converstaion about this with hermionesviolin recently, a tangent off of how Good Omens fandom embraces its nerdery for all sorts of things including Shakespeare.

The thing I love most about Shakespeare is how much people love Shakespeare. They pour so much love and weirdness and passion into their interpretations of his work that it's hard not to fall a little in love with his words, too.

Anyway, there was a meme going around about which Shakespeare you'd seen, and I thought it was a good way to organize my thoughts. Mostly to talk about my feelings rather than the productions themselves. I feel a great deal of imposter syndrome sometimes about how little I've seen, but now I'm realizing that I've seen more than I think and that who cares? This is about loving a thing. Things can be loved in many different ways.

( The Big Ones )
( The Comedies )
( Histories )
( Tragedies )

Bonus Round:
Slings and Arrows - I enjoy all of the show, but those moments where we get to see the productions are just pure magic. I feel cheated every time that we don't get to see the full thing.

I noticed that this list is 90% filmed versions and free outdoor productions of Shakespeare. I think I subscribe to stultiloquentia's philosophy of: lovingly made amateur Shakespeare of dubious quality or really really high quality Shakespeare or GTFO. Mediocre Shakespeare is the worst.

ETA: One of my fav conspiracy theories to see debunked is the idea that Shakespeare didn't write Shakespeare. It has some ugly implications wrt classicism, but it's overall relatively harmless and funny to see Shakespeare scholars flip their shit over.

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London!

2019-05-17T10:50:34Z

London was great! Exhausting in a good and bad way, but great!

The parkour event was both inspiring and humbling. I'd forgotten how great it was to just train with other women. It reminded me of how far I've come and how much further I have left to go. I'm almost always too aware of the latter, so getting a good taste of the former as well was really important to me. Plus, I got to meet some really delightful other women from around the world, and got to be coached by some amazing women, who I definitely want to convince to come to Boston and coach here as well. :D

Less fun: got hit by a car in Central London, partially because I was looking the wrong way. Apparently, I decided to be that sort of American stereotype. Luckily, the car wasn't going fast, and my body knows how to take impact. I walked away with some ugly scrapes, bruises, a mild bump on the head, and a very slight sprain in the elbow. I got to experience the NHS first-hand, so that was an adventure.

Visited Camden Market, which was a delight. I even went back for a second day. Lots of cool shops. Lots of good food. It's like a maze.

Also had a delightful time crashing with cesy. We watched some Eurovision semi-finals and some BBC home reno show specifically about making homes more accessible and also Stumped, a doc about about paraclimbers that is HILARIOUS and also deliberately avoids and mocks the whole inspiration porn aspect of talking about para-athletes. We also went up onto a heights/rope/zipline course, which was fun. I felt comfortable up there mostly because they tie you into a harness and it turns out that several years of climbing has made me comfortable at heights if I'm tied into something. Go figure. I didn't fall off of anything, thankfully, but I did spend a lot of time grabbing onto things for balance to the point where my forearms started feeling a little pumped from all the gripping I was doing.

Anyway, I'm back home! a little jetlagged, probably. I guess we'll find out when I try to go to our work community day thing today. And also while I do a whole bunch of things this weekend.

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a summary of things

2019-05-09T01:35:42Z

i.

It turns out therapy is actually good for you. Who knew?

It's been useful for me to have someone who I feel comfortable being vulnerable around because that is definitely not my strong suit, uh, ever. And it's made it easier for me to identify what I'm feeling, and to be confident in my own perception of the world, and to be less scared of being vulnerable around other people.

A woman at work offered to be a mentor to me, and I really hope/think it will work out well. I didn't know what to make of her when she first joined the company, but I'm appreciating her mix of bubbly personality and brutal honesty. She's not a manager, and she's not on my team, but it's nice to have someone else's perception of things to help filter my own through. Getting lost in your own head is such a problem.

ii.

London trip starts tomorrow! I'm working from home so I can putter around packing things in between work tasks. Exciting and nervewracking all at once! Hopefully I get enough sleep on the plane that I'm not a zombie this coming weekend for the parkour event I'm going to. But who knows? Whatever! I will wing it as best I can.

iii.

Ted Chiang released another short story collection called Exhalation. I have read some of the stories before, but I'm still looking forward to poking through and finding the things I haven't read yet. Saving it up for the flight!

iv.

My current disaster OTP is Cable/Deadpool.

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it's been a while since i talked about sporty-things, huh?

2019-03-02T19:09:28Z

First up, I signed up to do a parkour women's jam thing in London in May! Some of the awesome ladies in the local community were also interested in going to it, and because it wasn't me sitting on my hands waffling for months on end, it's actually happening. I'm excited. I still need to figure out flights and logistics. (How much time do I want to spend in London afterwards? What do I want to do then besides sleep forever and eat everything?) I haven't been pushing myself as hard as I have in the past, and that's okay. One of the joys of parkour is finding new challenges and new methods of expression. Even if I'm not pushing myself to break scary jumps, I can still work on fluidity and flow or balance or even just falling a lot (which I did at Friday's class).

I've been neglecting yoga and my body is making that very known. Everything is weird and tight, more than usual, especially my back and shoulders, though my legs and hips are also not pleased with me. I have to get better at stretching while sitting in front of the TV.

Climbing has been going well. I can climb V2s! Sure, it will take a few tries, but I have been getting to the top! I think stepping back and spending a few months focusing on endurance has really helped me with the top roping too. I need to make sure I keep that up and not just do what I always do and just throw myself at things that look difficult and terrible and sit in front of the wall trying to do the same move for 10 minutes straight while my hands fail me. Do more longer, easier climbs! Have fun with the weird climbs that take advantage of my parkour skills! Stop getting distracted by numbers and get better at reading the climbs myself! A friend of mine insists that she'll take me climbing outside at some point, and I will have to badger her until she does so. I have a hankering to watch climbing movies and to go climb a mountain. Or on a mountain. Whatever.

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