thedeadparrot: (eowyn jude)
(posted by on May. 21st, 2017 01:44 pm)
I saw a picture go around Twitter with drawing/art advice, and there's a lot of stuff here that I could unpack, but the one that spoke the loudest to me is 'Preserve & nurture your relationship to drawing (writing)' and as part of the sub-bullet of that 'JOY IS A TOOL. JOY IS A SKILL.'

I've been writing fanfic for a while, as I am sure many of you reading this have been as well, and I know that my relationship to my writing has changed quite a bit over the years. It's actually gotten healthier these past few years, I think. It's easy to fall into that mindset where your fic is only as good as the number of people who enjoy it. There's feedback loops to posting fic, getting kudos and likes and comments and maybe a reblog or two, and wanting to write more so you get more of that positive feedback. I have been learning to take pleasure in the act of writing itself. Cultivating the joy in just being able to craft a story.

And seeing that tweet in the middle of working on a new story (first draft done!) meant that I also got a chance to self-reflect on how my relationship to writing can and does change over the course of a story. Sometimes the relationship is easy and everything feels great and the words just come out. Sometimes the relationship is just okay and you just go through the motions of getting from one sentence to the next. Sometimes the relationship is straight up awful and every word is like pulling teeth. Sometimes you like your writing and sometimes you hate it. I'm learning to accept that as part of my process, too, even if it's frustrating and annoying and terrible.

It's work, in the same way that the writing itself is also work. And it's hard to maintain the healthy balances that I would like. But it's been useful for me. Maybe it will also be useful for you.
thedeadparrot: (nowhere man)
(posted by on Feb. 14th, 2017 05:12 am)
Chugging along with this one fic that I thought might just be emotional arcs, and it turns out that it's also like, growing a plot as well. It's the worst! Why, writing, whyyyyyy.

I finished reading the psychic wolves books. I'm not sure if I would recommend them to others, necessarily. But they were generally entertaining and had fun worldbuilding with their fake Vikings who bang each other.

Oh, and I wrote some psychic wolf fic (for Lupercalia) myself:

sweeter than heaven, hotter than hell (4414 words) by thedeadparrot
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Hockey RPF
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Jeff Carter/Mike Richards
Characters: Mike Richards, Jeff Carter
Additional Tags: Psychic Wolves, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Summary:

Arnold's the one who's getting very thoroughly laid wolf-style, and Mike's here in his hotel room, very much not getting laid. Good thing Jeff's around to help him out.

thedeadparrot: (Default)
(posted by on May. 23rd, 2016 07:02 am)
I have written a thing! Or a first draft of a thing! A Tony/Rhodey thing! All 5k words of it! I'm eager to dig into editing it, but I need to give it a little time to marinate, so that I can come back to it with fresher eyes. It was one of those stories that mutated a lot during the writing of it, so I'm not sure the beginnings of it match the end. But that's okay! That's what editing is about!

It's the first thing I've written in months, which is making me happy.

Unfortunately, I've managed to fill up my mornings and nights with things that are not writing, so it's been hard to squeeze in writing during the week. Good thing I've got weekends, huh?
thedeadparrot: (death and dream)
(posted by on Jan. 4th, 2016 07:47 am)
I have a first draft of my Star Wars fic! About 16k words right now, but it's definitely going r get a lot longer in the editing phase since I was rushing more than usual in the first draft. I think I might need a few days before I'm ready to put on my editing hat and dig into it again. But omg, it's a thing!

The first draft is always the hardest one for me because it's all about laying down the backbone of the story. Now I can put flesh on it and maybe re-arrange some of the limbs and put all the feelings back in. Those are smaller chunks of work overall once I get my brain in the right sort of mood to tackle them.
thedeadparrot: (death and dream)
(posted by on Jun. 18th, 2015 08:12 pm)
I am waffling so hard on getting a beta on this story. On one hand it is super long for me (20k! omg!) and I have a hard time holding all of it in my head at one time and have been staring at it so long I've long since lost any perspective on it. On the other hand, I kind of just want to post it so that I don't have to look at it or think about it anymore. So I guess I'm putting the question out to you guys. When do you get a beta? When do you not? Does it vary on word count? Subject matter? The phase of the moon?




Maybe while I sit on this monster, I will try to write some Sense8 fic. Dunno what, yet. I feel like the show is super satisfying as it is, but I also feel like there are a lot of tasty feelings to explore. A different sort of family, not quite a found-family, more like a birth-family, a group of people you're thrown together with and you love anyway. That's a thing. It's been a while since I've written weather fic.
thedeadparrot: (on the bridge)
(posted by on Sep. 1st, 2014 09:25 pm)
I'm trying to do a first-pass edit my fic, but it's just kind of boring and mediocre and I can't focus on fixing it because I've been so distracted by move preparations. No, that's not entirely true. I can't focus on fixing it because every time I look at it, my eyes start glazing over. If I'm boring the shit out of myself, I can't even imagine what it would do to any of you.

Meh. I guess we'll see how this goes. I'm pretty close to ditching it and starting up something else that's more insubstantial. Bah.
thedeadparrot: (oracle)
(posted by on Jul. 30th, 2014 07:58 am)
I've been kind of off in a video game void lately due to stress and general life business. (Hahaha, who knew that getting a mortgage and buying property would be so much work?) It's much easier to focus on consuming media rather than creating it when your brain is occupied with all sorts of things.

But I recently have achieved some Free Time and some brainspace, and I have been messing around with the Shadowrun Returns editor.

I was playing the game and loving the worldbuilding. It's kind of goofy -- the premise is high fantasy meets cyberpunk -- and wanting fic, knowing that I'd probably have to write it myself. At some point, that went from "I guess I could write some short fic" to "I guess I could use the built-in campaign editor to make some short fic". So here I am, toying with the pieces of it and actually making some progress.

I'm not going to make a full campaign. Combat can be kind of wonky and frustrating, and the animations are pretty limited, but I love the fact that it relies so much on text and dialogue for its storytelling. That definitely lowers the barrier of entry. Words are great!

Right now, I'm actually limited on the writing side of things. Which scenes do I want to build and what things do people say and how do they play out. The fiddly technical bits are actually the easy part of this whole process. I don't know how big this thing is actually going to be, but I'm excited to have the bones of something in place. We'll see how this goes.

(If I were in better shape, this would be where I would write a whole bunch of stuff about companies encouraging modding and how this whole process feels strongly like playwriting or something of that ilk. I spent a whole day learning how to build sets. It was weird.)
thedeadparrot: (happiness is a warm gun)
(posted by on Jun. 16th, 2014 08:17 pm)
This is a rant about worldbuilding in fandom.

I think, as fandom, we do this thing where we try to justify our id-pleasing premises by trying to explain it. Oh no, um, evil scientists just invented dudes who can have children, okay? There was totally financial thing, like, twenty years ago, and I guess we had to resort to a slave economy. Totally.

Sometimes, it can be done well, but a lot of the time it feels like watching a terrible Christopher Nolan movie, where you can pretty much see the convoluted machinery that's moving us to the predetermined ending, clearly reverse engineered and not particularly organic.

What I love seeing in fandom, what I love almost more than anything else, is the part where we, as authors, move past that point and say, "so then what?"

We have slaves, sexy slaves, and people buy and sell them against their will. So then what? How does the slave trade look, now that we exist within a heavily technological, commercialized culture? How do your slaves signal status or lack thereof? How does the burgeoning emancipation movement work? Which politicians do they target? How? Do they go the radical human-rights-terrorism route?

Oh no! The evil dystopian government is forcing people to get married. So then what? What is their career situation look like? What is expected of married couples of various ages and life-stages? What is up with raising children? How are they expected to interact with other married couples? What happens to the stragglers or the people who try to buck the system? What does this look like to other countries? Do they all have similar systems?

It frustrates the crap out of me when I see authors twisting themselves up into knots trying to justify their id to me. I don't care! I don't care why aliens that secrete aphrodisiacs might be on Earth or why otherwise perfectly normal human men go into heat! I am willing to start with you guys there.

But for fucks sake, please make the rest of it interesting. Ask the other questions. Dig a little deeper. You'll be surprised at what you find.

Our worldbuilding shouldn't end at the point where we get our id-pleasing premise. It should start there.

</end rant>
thedeadparrot: (light)
(posted by on Apr. 16th, 2014 06:23 am)
I figure I could talk about this on Twitter or I could talk about this here, but I have to say that I feel like I'm slowly getting my grip on this story.

There's not a whole lot of it at the moment, only 1500 words right now, but it feels like I have a clearer direction on where I want it to go. It's slow going, but I think I finally have a direction. For me, writing new characters for the first time is all about figuring out who they are to you. How you think they talk and how you think they interact with other people and how you think they interact with each other.

As a writer, I usually architect things, roughing out a beginning, middle, and an end in my head while I'm writing. For this one, I think I'm just going to follow it around for a bit to see where it wants to take me.
thedeadparrot: (blind)
(posted by on Jan. 22nd, 2014 07:49 pm)
Okay, so in order to keep my energy up for this project, I think I am going to set up a Trello board for my own work and then promptly fail to keep it up to date. There is something extremely soothing about being able to move things from 'to do' into 'done' and I think it's good so that I when I feel overwhelmed by what I have left to do I can see what I have already finished as well. Of course, right now it's all overwhelming, but oh well! I will try this out as a means to keep myself moderately organized. We'll see how long it takes for this to fall apart.

Also, I think I might need to start listing out the things I have done in this journal, because it's my space and I can do what I want here. SO THERE.

Completed )
thedeadparrot: (bloody hell)
(posted by on Dec. 17th, 2013 06:26 pm)
Ugh, I am writing all these tiny bits and pieces of content for this fannish project (it seems weird to call it 'fic', because well, it's a bunch of tiny pieces of content strung together), and it's a little bit difficult, because I don't know when I should edit things, and the fact that each piece is short is wrecking havoc on my focus.

I don't think my enthusiasm for this adventure has really waned, just my confidence levels. I don't feel like I'm a good enough writer to pull this off! I don't think anyone will care anyway! It is snowing outside and I am sick! Fuck this shit!
thedeadparrot: (Default)
(posted by on Jul. 9th, 2013 06:50 pm)
So, we sailed right past it fairly recently, but I just celebrated my 10 year anniversary of writing fic! Jeez, that feels like so long. I don't think I'm surprised at all to still be in fandom, but ten years still feels like a huge amount of time.

Since that does feel like a semi-significant milestone if you are me, I thought I'd indulge in a navel-gazing look back at what I've actually managed to write over the last ten years.
in the beginning )
those awkward middle years )
the rest of that shit )
where do I go from here? )
thedeadparrot: (dylan jester)
(posted by on May. 12th, 2013 11:48 am)
First drafts are the worst. They take forever, are the most difficult and time consuming, and they're always so bad. This one is continuing. I don't know how long it will be eventually, but it's around 7000 words right now, and there's a significant chunk of it left to write (omg). I think the worst part about a first draft is that feeling of like "I have no idea what I'm doing but I'm going to have to keep writing anyway until I either have something finished or I figure it out!"

I also spent a lot of last night wrestling with writing a macro for Twine, and I just gave up on getting the behavior I wanted with it when I was up at 1am staring at it until my eyes were swimming. Twine is pretty great over the hood, but under the hood it's a fragile clusterfuck, and that makes it extremely frustrating to use. OH WELL. The macro that I now have mostly does what I want, and at least it's better than the default behavior.

On the other hand, the thrill of experimenting, of playing around with the structures and the flow of text, is really fun. I'm sure it will be a disaster of characterization, worldbuilding and pacing, but too bad! I will rock on!
thedeadparrot: (staring at the sun)
(posted by on May. 5th, 2013 04:16 pm)
It was really great wandering around Somerville this weekend as part of Somerville Open Studios. I think part of it was just enjoying looking at art, and part of it was also getting to see artist studios, seeing the converted factories with squeaky wooden floors and exposed piping, the paints, the canvases, the woodworking tools, the messy doodles on the walls. I'm always impressed by the amount of creativity in people, the number of ways in which people chose to create new things and express themselves. Not all of the art I've seen has been got, perhaps not even most of it, but I still loved seeing it. I'm not sure I'll make this a yearly trip, but it was definitely worth doing this year. It didn't hurt that the weather was gorgeous.

I've been writing a decent amount lately. The best thing about Twine is that it tickles my writing and programming brains at the same time, which is really great. Most of the code is really simple, but I had a bug yesterday! And I fixed it! That was really fun. I still don't know if this story is going to work, if the pacing is too all over the place and video-gamey, if the worldbuilding is crap (though I have had some great conversations with people about it, which was good), if the plot is too non-sensical, if I can get the emotional builds and dips right. Still, I have a plot outline, mostly, and I have approximately 4k written and coded up. There's still a lot to get to, and there are a lot of places in those first 4k that need a lot of work (a lot a lot), but I'm still enjoying it. There's something both thrilling and frustrating about a first draft, about seeing how everything is coming together and yet how long everything takes.

I don't have many interesting or deep Iron Man 3 feelings. I guess as a series of scenes, I was very entertained, but as an overall storyline or character arc, it doesn't hold up at all. Pretty much every person I've spoken to has stronger feelings about it than I did.

I also bought KotOR 1 and 2 during this weekend's Steam sale. They actually work somewhat decently under wine, and it's hilarious how quickly computer graphics age. Still, all my adolescent feelings are still lingering, and I'm really looking forward to see what sorts of improvements the KotOR 2 restoration mod makes to the overall experience of that game.
thedeadparrot: (boston)
(posted by on Apr. 27th, 2013 05:52 pm)
Things have been better this past week. Boston does feel like it's been putting itself back together, day by day, piece by piece. The MBTA buses say 'Boston Strong' and 'We are one Boston' on them where they used to only tell you the route number and destination. One Heart Boston sold out their T-shirts and totebags. These pictures make me sigh and sniffle a little. I saw buses and buses full of cops going to Sean Collier's memorial drive by my office window.

But those are the sad things. I want to talk about happy things too.

I have recently run into Twine as a storytelling tool, and now I am playing around with it. I have about 1000 words of one story already written, though there is all this plot that wants to happen, and ugh. Plot is so difficult. Feelings are so easy in comparison! But I think I enjoy the way this story feels wild and untested right now. It could be awful! People could hate it! Or not understand it! Or understand it and think it is a bunch of useless tripe!

The underlying code of Twine (or Twee, which is what I like using) is just this giant clusterfuck, but the platform itself is nicely put together in a way that makes things easy. I am a writer who likes thinking about structures of stories, of how to construct a story so that all the pieces fit together, and having a plaform that not only allows you to, but also basically demands that you, break up the flow of a story is exciting. It makes you think about structure in a whole new way.

ETA: Also, [personal profile] azephirin, I found that game that introduced me to Twine again! It's called ALL I WANT IS FOR ALL OF MY FRIENDS TO BECOME INSANELY POWERFUL (warning: music comes on suddenly). I didn't actually read it all the way through the first time through, and I should have. Even if you are not [personal profile] azephirin, you should read it.
thedeadparrot: (cookies)
(posted by on Apr. 12th, 2013 09:48 pm)
I finished a draft of a new story! It needs so much work, but for now, I can go back to watching video game documentaries and getting thoroughly jossed by this show.
thedeadparrot: (lois + clark)
(posted by on Aug. 19th, 2012 12:18 am)
I just finished tweaking/editing the draft of a fic that I don't think I like enough to try to fix properly. So, that's probably never going to see the light of day, and it's kind of frustrating to put weeks and weeks' worth of work into something you end up hating anyway. Blah.

I think part of it is that I'm not really feeling inspired lately. I've been stuck in a rut and I've ended up repeating myself a bunch of times when I don't want to. So, a meme?

Give me two fandoms I am familiar with and I will write a crossover for them.

Since this is in the interests of doing something a little different, I'm excluding SGA and House as fandoms because I've written a bunch of crossovers involving them already.
thedeadparrot: (death and dream)
(posted by on Aug. 4th, 2012 11:24 am)
I have been writing after a bit of a drought! I am planning on staying in during the day today and seeing how much I can get done. Also, um, watching the Olympics some more. The weather is so gross today.

I am also considering signing up for [livejournal.com profile] xmenbigbang, but I only have vague ideas of what I would want to write, and I've only ever written three stories over 15k words. I'm not sure I have the endurance to pull that sort of thing off.

I spotted this meme around tumblr, but I don't really use tumblr much, so here it is.

Directions: Give me number(s) in the comments and I will answer the corresponding question.

  1. How did you get interested in fanfiction?

  2. What was your first fandom? Your first OTP?

  3. Do you review all the fanfics you read, most, or do you prefer to read and move on? If you write, what’s the best review you’ve ever gotten? The worst?

  4. Favorite AU to read? To write?

  5. What’s your favorite genre to read? To write?

  6. What are your biggest fanfiction pet peeves?

  7. Do you have any crackships?

  8. Do you have any ships you don’t like or used to but don’t anymore?

  9. Are there any kinks you love to read? Any you avoid?

  10. Do you prefer to read fanfics in first, second, or third-person POVs? To write?

  11. Do you read exclusively NC-17 fanfics, or will you read any rating?

  12. What’s the latest you’ve stayed up reading a fanfic? Writing one?

  13. Is there a website you’re partial to when you search for fanfiction, or do you more read whatever you can get your hands on? When it comes to writing, is there a website you prefer to use for publishing your fanfics?

  14. How long have you been “18”?

  15. Are there any plot ideas you want to either do or see someone else do?

  16. Do you associate certain songs with certain ships or fanfics? If you could make a playlist for your OTP(s), which songs would be on there?

  17. Do you follow any RPs? Do you RP?

  18. What’s on your fanfiction rec list?

thedeadparrot: (rodney)
(posted by on Jan. 24th, 2012 07:50 am)
Well, it only took four years, but there is now a first (very bad) draft of Sheppard's Eleven.

*keels over*
thedeadparrot: john watson palming his face (facepalm)
(posted by on Jun. 1st, 2011 07:20 am)
I have this weird thing where if I write a story over 6,000 words long, I have trouble editing it as a whole. I have to break it down into little subsections of editing so my mind doesn't freak out.

Does anyone else have a problem like this?




OMG WHY AM I ALLOWED TO WRITE THINGS
.

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